Monday, October 5, 2015

Proverbs 2

Proverbs 2
2-5 Turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as hidden treasure , then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.- NIV.It takes more than just wanting wisdom. We have to seek it, beg for it, call out for it, and search for it. When we really want something we don't let anyone stop us from getting it. When we have to work to get something, to be diligent and fervent in earning it, then we we appreciate it. God doesn't just give wisdom to everyone when they become Christians. This we have to earn. We have to show God that we want it and we appreciate it for what its worth.There is so much in my life that I have put in the time, work, and effort for, but have I really given God the same things? We kinda go with the fact that God is always there and He will always love us. God deserves the same time, work, and effort that I put into worldly things. Its time for me to give this respect to God.God, I am ready and willing to put in the time, effort, and work to show you how Worthy you are of my Worship and Respect. I love you Father and I cannot thank you enough for all the blessings that you have poured out on my life. Thank you. I love you,In Jesus' Name,Amen

Friday, October 2, 2015

Proverbs 1

Proverbs 1
vs 23
Come and Listen to my counsel. I'll share my heart with you and make you wise. - NLT
If you had responded to my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you and made my thoughts known to you. - NIV
This chapter is really talking about how we need wisdom, how God wants to give us wisdom, but how we are foolish and listen to the world.  We reject God's wisdom to do what the world entices us to do. We do such stupid stuff and then regret it, if only we would have stopped and asked God is it was a wise idea. We need to spend time sitting at God's feet listening to His heart.
I need to actively seek God's will and wisdom.  It so easy to think I know what I am doing or this is such a trivial thing no need to ask God what I should do its obvious. What happens next is the regret for not thinking something through that is when we turn to God. We tell him how foolish we are and would he help us. I need to be proactive and not retroactive. Seeking God's wisdom in all things.
God help me to be more proactive when seeking your wisdom.  God give me your wisdom and guide my life. I want to know your heart. I love you Lord.
In Jesus' name,
Aman

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Day 3 Song of Songs

Song of Songs 2:1-8

vs 8 Listen! My Lover! Look! Here he comes, leaping across the mountains, bounding over hills. - NIV
Look! Listen! There's my lover! Do you see him coming? Vaulting the mountains, leaping the hills. - MSG
Ah, I hear my lover coming! He is leaping over the mountains, bounding over the hills - NLT

Ever notice that when you spend a lot of time with someone you can recognize their sounds. How their footsteps sound, their breathing, coughs, etc. We make noises as we come and go. How we shut the door, our knocks. You know who is walking through the door long before you see them.  She heard her lover coming way before she saw him because she spent time with him. Its also worth noting that He lover did not walk to her, he wasn't strolling across the hills, he was RUNNING at full speed to his beloved. If she recognized his coming it was because he ran to her each and every time he saw her.
What if we could hear Jesus coming before we saw his effects, before we could feel his presence in our lives.  That comes from anticipating him showing up. Listening for him to arrive. Waiting for him. Spending time with him. What I would give for that. Oh and just like the lover Jesus doesn't walk into our lives, HE runs at full speed. He bounds over mountains to get to us. 
Jesus,
Oh how I want this. I want to wait on you, anticipate you, live in your presence. I want to hear you coming long before I see or feel you. Jesus I am requesting and inviting you to spend time with me. Show me how to wait on you and how to anticipate you. Teach me your sounds.
In Jesus' name,
Amen

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Day 2 Song of Songs

Song of Songs 1: 9-17
Verse 15. "How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh how beautiful, your eyes are doves." - NIV

First, I looked up some of the times doves are used in the Bible and what they represent. Doves are the only bird that can be used as an offering because it is the only bird that is clean. Doves represent purity. They are also known for their fierceness. That being said, Once the women finally got done with her ramblings of unworthiness, her husband responded. He told her how beautiful she was, how he wanted to adorn her with jewels, how she was like a dove. she had just gotten through tearing herself down, saying she was dirty, and his response was you couldn't be more wrong.
 
 If we could just be quiet and let Jesus speak to us. He would tell us the same thing. Darling you are so very wrong. That isn't who you are at all. You my Beloved are beautiful, you are clean, you are pure, you my beloved are fierce. You need to believe in who I say you are because when you let the devil undermined your self worth you give up your power over him. You are a daughter of the ONE TRUE KING and we better start acting like it. When we do all the talking we always end up stuck in our heads and that's a dangerous place to be.  We need to LISTEN. Jesus wants to speak to us and we just need to sit still and listen.
Jesus,
Song of Songs isn't just this beautiful picture of what marriage can be, but also a picture of your love for us. We are your beloved. Much like the young women in the story we tend to spend our time with you doing all the talking, which always leads to how we arent enough. We aren't pretty enough, christian enough, strong enough, tough enough, smart enough, ect. You want so much more for us then this self doubt and pity. If we could be still and listen you would cleanse us with words of love and affirmation. You would reminded us of who we are and who you are. God help me to listen more.
In Jesus' name
Amen.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Day 1 on a study of Song of Songs

Song of Songs 1: 1-8
Vs 6
"Don't Stare at me because I am dark- The sun has darkened my skin. My brothers were angry with me; they forced me to car for their vineyards, so I couldn't care for myself - my own vineyards." NIV
"Don't look down on me because I'm dark, darkened by the sun's harsh rays. My brothers ridiculed me and sent me to work in the fields. they made me care for the face of the earth, but I had no time to care for my own face." MSG
When I first read this passage I was thinking of what a women would think if she had been working for years in a field and then the Guy shows up. Oh my words, look at my skin its so dark not pale like the rich girls, oh look how I am filthy, there is dirt under my nails, I'm so sweaty I know I must smell so very bad, couldn't he have shown up right after I had a bath. I thought this passage must be about how we get preoccupied with the world and cleaning up its mess that we neglect ourselves and getting ready for Jesus. And then... A phrase kept popping up in my head HE LOVED HER ANYWAYS. He hadn't said anything about how she looked. He never looked down on her. In fact he hadn't even opened his mouth yet. First she was telling her to kiss her and how awesome he was and she was so excited, then it was that nagging voice in her head going yeah he is amazing but look at you. You are a mess. He is never going to love you.
Isn't that just what the devil does to us. God sends us something amazing and at first we are so stinking excited. Then the devil goes but what when you did this or that. How could you deserve this. He says look at you. You will NEVER get the man of your dreams, god must know this too that is why he has left you to be single. We have to stop buying into this LIE. HE LOVES US ANYWAY and wants the very best for us!
God, You are such an amazing Father.  I can't get over what an amazing father you are. You sent your only son to die for me and Jesus died for me not out of obligation but out of love. HE LOVED ME Anyways. He knew every time I was going to royally screw up. He knew every time I was going to let myself and you down. He knew I would never live up to your perfection so he died for ME out of Love. So many times the devil tells me that you couldn't possibly love me and what me to have a loving godly husband because what loving and godly husband would want a screw up like me. I listen to him to much. My loving and godly husband is having the same lies whispered into his ears about me. Help me to remember that YOU LOVED ME ANYWAYS. That you want to give me my hearts desires and that the devil is a big fat liar who is only here to steal, kill, and destroy my desires and dreams. Thank you for all you do.
Amen

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

grad school and teaching

Graduate school is nothings like I thought it would be.  There have been a class that was harder than I expected, but it seems like that is the exception instead of the rule.  For the most part the classes are about on par with my classes at spsu.  In fact some of the classes are boring the living daylights out of me and some interest me.  What is the hardest part is the fact that I am trying to go to school, Teaching, and working a part time job.  When I have a few minutes to myself that i should be using to  grade or do school work, I am using them to either catch up on house work or catch up on sleep. I am so looking forward to a summer where i have some time to myself.  I had so many high hopes for going to the gym this semester, but that did not happen. Just not enough hours in the day for me to fit it in.  On the side note, I am out of my medicine, for those who don't know i am hypothyroid.  I have been trying to control myself through diet and vitamins. It is not working. I feel some what better but man am i tired.  when i finally get back to the doctor i want to try something with both t3 and t4 in it. I feel as if my body is not adequally converting to t4.  We shall see what the doctor has to say. As of my 3 years with the disease I have yet to find one who would work with me.  I hope that this changes very soon. Not sure if I can survive the rest of the semester with out my medicine.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Best day

I have had the best day. First, since I have started graduate school I have not had anyone to have eat lunch with. Today I had lunch with one of my new friends. She took me to this awesome trendy warehouse. Inside there is all these different restaurants and a farmers market. We had the best burgers at this place called GrindHouse burgers. The. We got amazing desert from a place called Sweet Auburn Bakery. It was so nice to sit and talk and hang out. I have so missed the girl time. Now I am chilling at home about to have a home made dinner with my family while watching the new Big Bang Theory!!